39 Clues Fanmail
by music4evah
Summary: The characters from The 39 Clues are answering fanmail!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the 39 Clues, so stop spreading the rumors!!! (I'll catch you someday, whoever you are. Heh heh heh. . .) And by the way, this whole idea was originally Kelaiah's, who got it from somewhere else. . . (That Redwall fanmail was pure genius!!!) So I read his, and I was instantly like, oh em goodness, I need to do one for The 39 Clues!!! I could go so far with this. . . MWA HA HA HA HA!!!**

- - -

Music4evah: Hello, readers, and welcome to my studio! Today, I have a very special surprise for you! In every other chapter, two (or possibly more) characters from The 39 Clues will be answering fanmail! Now let me explain how this works. In this first chapter, I will introduce the first two characters who will be answering fanmail. Then, all of you readers review, and they can answer any questions you have, or you could tell them what you think of them, and so on and so forth. First up, is Dan and Amy!

_Dan and Amy step out and wave._

Dan: Hey!

Amy: H-h-hi.

Music4evah: Hey guys! Are you excited to be the first people to answer fanmail?

Dan: Heck yeah!

Amy: Yes!

Music4evah: Then let's see those reviews come in!

Dan: Somebody ask me to show off my Ninja Skills!

Amy: Dan, you don't _have_ any Ninja Skills.

Dan: Not yet. . .but Music4evah here can write me some!. . . Can't you?

Music4evah: Sure I can! After all, this is fanfiction, and you can do anything you want. (Although some people might not like it. . .)

Dan: Sweet! I'm gettin' Ninja Skills, I'm gettin' Ninja Skills, I'm gettin' Ninja Skills!

Amy: Dan, stop singing.

Music4evah: Yeah, and you'll only get your "Ninja Skills" if somebody asks to see them.

Dan: THEN ASK, PEOPLES!!! Ok, I think they're gonna' ask now.

Music4evah: Ok, then. Now that you guys are used to the studio, and Dan has asked the readers to ask him to show off his Ninja Skills, it's time to end the chapter! Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello, readers! And welcome to my studio, again!" sad Music4evah. "Alright, all the fanmail that I have made time for is now in! Ready to answer your fanmail, Dan and Amy?"

"Yes!" Dan said.

Amy nodded.

"Alright, then!" Music4evah continued. "Let's get started!"

"Wait just a second," Dan interrupted. "How come in the last chapter, we were in script format?"

"Because I was to lazy to write this way," Music4evah shrugged.

Dan shrugged, and then said, "Continue."

Music4evah nodded, and did as dan had said. "Amy, Dan, you see the laptops in front of you? The first fanmail should be right there. This first one is from mari.

Dan and Amy looked at the laptops, and read the first fanmail.

_Ninja skills! Ninja skills! Ninja skills!_

Amy stared at the words on the screen. "That's it?"

Dan punched a fist in the air. "YES! NINJA SKILLS! ALRIGHT!"

Music4evah bit her lip to keep from giggling, and then told Amy, "Yes, that is it. But there is plenty more fanmail that mentions you, Amy." Music4evah grinned evilly, and suddenly Amy shrank down in her chair a little further.

Music4evah laughed. "Ok, let's get on with the show! Dan, you read?"

"**YES!!!"**

Music4evah pressed a button on her remote that neither Dan or Amy had noticed before, and suddenly, they were in a martial arts room. Dan grinned. "Let's do this!"

In a flash, Dan was jumping, flipping, kicking, and shouting ninja cries. Suddenly, five figures burst into the room, which was strange, seeing as there were no doors or windows. Each was clothed all in black, with a red symbol on their chests, that looked suspiciously like a drop of blood.

"Evil ninjas!" Dan screamed. Dan was a blur as he started fighting the 5 ninjas. He jumped up, kicked the first ninja in the head, and then flipped the second ninja over his head on top of the first ninja. The last three ninjas had swords, and so a sword appeared in Dan's hands. He quickly took out the third and fourth ninjas, and sparred a bit with the last one. But finally, the last one fell, too.

Dan paused for a minute to catch his breath, and then said, "That. . . was totally wicked!!!"

Back in the studio, Dan was grinning from ear to ear. Amy was impressed. "Wow. That was pretty cool, for a dweeb."

Dan stuck out his tongue at Amy and said, "You're just jealous."

Amy snorted. "Fat chance."

Dan was about to retort, when Music4evah hurriedly said, "Let's check the next fanmail, ok? Ok. This next one is from IanXAmy-DanXNatalie."

Dan and Amy each got pale in the face. Amy's mouth was opening and closing, as if she wanted to say something, but she was to shocked to do so. Dan finally sputtered out, "M-m-me. . . and. . . _Natalie?_"

Music4evah nodded, said, "Why don't you take this bucket,' she handed over a bucket, "And we can continue."

Amy and Dan nodded weakly.

_Ask Amy if she likes Ian!_

Amy's face was suddenly red and white at the same time. Dan glared at the screen, and said, "That shouldn't be allowed!"

Music4evah chuckled. "Oh, just wait, Dan. There's still more fanmail after this one."

Dan grumbled something, and then turned to Amy to wait for her answer.

Amy wasn't moving. But suddenly, somehow thru the power of fanfiction, she mumbled, "Do I like Ian? . . . Um. . . He kinda kissed me and then left me for dead in cave. . . but. . . I don't know. . . I mean, he's a jerk! How can I like a jerk? . . ." Amy trailed off, and gazed into space for a few seconds, and then snapped back.

"Ok. . ." Music4evah said. "Next fanmail is from 39cluzrulz."

_Ask Dan if he likes somebody in their Cahill family._

Dan's eyes almost popped out of his head. "Like somebody? Who do you think I am, missy?! Some Romeo?! Gross! First people like paring me and Natalie, and then people are asking who I like? I swear, there is no respect in this world at ALL anymore!!!" After Dan was done shouting, Music4evah cleared her throat. "So. . . you don't like anybody."

Dan shook his head. "No. I'm only eleven, peoples. Sheesh."

"Alright," Music4evah said. "Next fanmail is from purplee cullencahill.

_Finally! Ninja skills yes! (Smiles evilly.) Oh and what's Amy's favorite book?_

Dan's eyes gleamed. "Can I do it again?"

Music4evah sighed. "I don't know. . . you were pretty close to throwing up before. . . are you sure you want to?"

Dan's face paled a little bit. "Uh, on second thought, pass."

Music4evah. "Alright. Now, Amy?"

Amy was staring at the question, lost in thought. "Hm. . . I'm not sure. There are so many good books out there, it's so hard to choose. . .shut up, Dan. . . Hm, I think I will have to go with The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle, The Narnia books, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Hatchet, The Lightning Thief, Emma, The Hobbit, A Wrinkle in Time, Nancy Drew, Oliver Twist, The Little Princess, The DaVinci Code, and Matilda. Does that answer you question?"

Music4evah laughed, and said, "I think it does. Alright, the next one is from Lunalovegoode."

_Good Fanmail! What's Amy's favorite book? Oh! and are you going to use others characters. I'd like to here what Alistair has to say! anyway, I loved it!_

"I believe I already answered that question," Amy said.

Music4evah nodded. "And I'm pretty sure that I explained in the first chapter that different groups will be answering fanmail. In the next chapter, I will be announcing who the next two people are, and the will get comfortable with their surroundings. Alright, the next one is from troubador12.

_Hmm...if there was a nuclear armageddon and you have to repopulate the planet, which would Amy chose to procreate with: Ian or Jonah?_

Amy paled again. "Um. . . Ian, I guess. . . I'd rather be with a snobby rich jerk than a gangster who raps 24/7 and thinks of nobody but himself." Amy blushed, and then nodded for Music4evah to continue.

"This nest fanmail is from xxPrincessOfTheOceanxx .

_Ooh! I vote for Dan to get ninja skills! (as long as her doesn't kill anyting..heheh..)_

_And for Amy: I was just curious, what is one of your favorite books?_

_:)_

_-Gabbie-_

"I already did my awesome ninja skills, and those Ninjas aren't dead. . . are they?'

Music4evah laughed. "No, they aren't, thanks to the power of fanfiction! They weren't even real, actually."

"And I already listed my favorite books." Amy put in. "But thanks for asking!"

Music4evah nodded. This next fanmail is from edwardcullenrocksmysoxs."

_I have a question for Amy... Amy if you hate Ian can I have him?_

Amy stared at the question. "Um. . .sure? I guess. . . That is, if he's ok with it and all. . . um. . ." Amy shrugged.

"Well," said Music4evah. "I guess that's all! Thanks for sending in your fanmail, and remember to read the next chapter to find out who's answering fanmail next!"

**Review! You know you want to. . .**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own 39 clues. Nobody here does.**

**- - -**

"Welcome, readers, to my studio, again!" Music4evah said. "I hope you all enjoyed Amy and Dan answering all of your questions and such. And now, it is time to announce the next two characters who answer their fanmail!"

Music4evah pressed a button on her remote, and a drum roll started. . .

"And the next ones are. . . Ian and Natalie Kabra!"

Ian and Natalie stepped out and waved. "Hello," said Ian. Natalie just smiled sweetly and said, "Be careful what you write. I have my tranquilizer gun, you know." She reached down by her waist were her tranquilizer gun usually was. Except for the fact that it wasn't there.

"WERE DID MY GUN GO?!?!" Natalie screamed.

Music4evah rolled her eyes. "I took it away while you are here in my studio. I can't have you taking anybody out while you're here. Especially me, Amy, or Dan."

Ian's eyes widened. "Amy is still here?" he asked in amazment.

Music4evah looked from side to side suspiciously and grinned evilly. "Maybe. . ."

Natalie stomped her foot. "I want my gun!!! NOW!!!"

Music4evah sighed. "No."

"Yes!" Natalie shouted.

"No."

"YES!"

"Natalie, this is MY studio, and so you must abide by MY rules! Understand?"

Natalie huffed, but she nodded.

"Oh, and you should probably know. . ." Music4evah added. "If either of you get out of hand. . . I can just call in your parents. They would be more than happy to help me put you two back into line."

Natalie and Ian grew pale, but they quickly recovered. "Just review and send us your fanmail," Ian muttered.

"Hey, I was going to say that!" Natalie said.

Music4evah sighed. "No, guys, that's my line!. . .Oh well. You know the drill. Ian and Natalie, try not to kill each other while we wait for reviews."

- - -

**Music4evah: See that button? **_**Right**_** there? Yeah, that's the one! Click it. Go on, you know you want to! It will make Ian and Natalie happy. And then Natalie won't take you out.**

**Natalie: Says who?!?!?!**

**Ian: Says Music4evah, me, and mother and father.**

**Natalie: . . . (Glares.)**

**Music4evah: REVIEW!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own 39 clues. So stop spreading the rumors!!! (And I think I didn't do the end of this chapter, but I can't think of anything better. . . hope you like it!  
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Music4evah cleared her throat. "Attention all readers. This chapter will be a bit different than I had originally planned. First of all, instead of having _just_ Ian and Natalie here to answer your fanmail, because of all of the reviews, I am also bringing out Amy and Dan again for the other questions that have been asked. But just so you know, after this chapter, please don't ask Amy, Dan, Ian or Natalie anymore questions. There are plenty more people who you can ask. . ."

Music4evah looked around her studio at Ian, Natalie, Dan, and Amy, who were seated in comfortable chairs around a table, each with a laptop in front of them. "You ready guys?" She asked. "There's a _ton_ of fanmail for you all to go thru. . ."

They all nodded, and Dan punched a fist in the air and said, "Yeah!" Music4evah chuckled. "Dan, I wouldn't be so eager if I were you. . ."

Dan paled. "What do you mean?"

Music4evah laughed again and grinned evilly. "You'll see. Now let's take a look at this first fanmail. . . It's from mari."

The four characters looked at their laptops, and read the message that mari had written.

_its mari again! if you're interviewing Natalie and Ian next can you lock Ian in_

_a room with Dan's awe-inspiring ninja skills?!_

Ian gulped. Dan grinned. Natalie tried to contain her laughter. Amy wasn't sure how to react.

Music4evah gazed at the four gathered in the room, and burst out laughing.

"You should. . .see. . . your. . .faces!" she said in between gales of laughter.

"Can I? Can I? Can I? PLEASE!!!" Dan begged.

Music4evah stifled some more giggles. "Alright, but only for thirty seconds. We want him to be able to answer his fanmail."

Dan punched his fist in the air. "YES!"

Music4evah pressed a button on her remote, and a door appeared in the wall, with a big window beside it. Music4evah led them all to it.

"Dan, Ian, you will be in this room," she pointed thru the window, thru which everyone could see an empty room. "You can't break the window, so don't try to run away, Ian! And if you do, Butler will catch you." They all looked at Music4evah confusedly, and she said, "What? I asked Artemis if I could borrow him for this chapter. He agreed. Juliet is covering for him while he's gone. And Artemis can't get into to much trouble. . . can he? Oh, snap, I probably just jinxed that. Now I'll have to right an Artemis Fowl fanfiction about what happened while Butler was here. . . oh well."

Dan shrugged and said, "Come on, Ian! It's time to have some fun. . ."

Dan walked into the room, and Ian reluctantly followed. He knew he had to do this. And he didn't want to meet up with Butler. Not as enemies, at least.

Music4evah shut the door and locked it. Dan immediately sprung into action. Music4evah, Natalie, and Amy watched as Dan let out all of his fury on Ian. At first Ian tried to fight back, but he was no match for Dan. Natalie was laughing like crazy, Amy was wincing every time Ian got hurt, and both Music4evah and Amy were saying, "Oh!" and "That's _got_ to hurt!"

Finally, the thirty seconds were up, and Music4evah unlocked the door. Dan walked up with a big grin on his face. Ian crawled out, and Music4evah handed him an aspirin. After a while, Ian was up again, and they all returned to their laptops.

"Alrighty!" Music4evah said. "This next one is from xxPrincessOfTheOceanxx."

_Yay! My question has been answered! Apparently, Amy and I all like the same books! :)_

_Can I ask another question? Hmm..wait I don't have one yet. Oh, wait, now I do! Amy: What song do you do you think describes your relationship with Ian? I just had to ask!_

_And for Dan: What is one of your favorite ninja moves?_

_:)_

_--Gabbie–_

Amy smiled softly. "I'm glad that you were pleased. As for you question. . ." Amy began to think. As she thought, she stole a glance at Ian. He looked rather tired and beat up. But then again, he was. But he still had that sense of looking cool and attractive 24/7, no matter what. But Amy wasn't sure what he was thinking. Finally, she said, "I suppose I will have to go with Don't Forget, by Demi Lavato."

Music4evah nodded. "Good choice! Now Dan."

Dan grinned. "My favorite ninja move? Man, that's hard. . . but it would probably be the one on Kung Fu Panda when Po does that finger thing to Tailung! That move was awesome. . . Although, technically, it's not a Ninja move. But it still counts."

Music4evah smiled. "Ok. Let's go to the next one. It's from troubadour12."

_*wicked laugh* ehemm...seeing as Amy isn't shy in mentioning who her *cough, cough* partner would be, here's a question for Dan(I suggest his sister should leave the room, and Dan should be hooked up to a lie-detector machine):do you, or do you not, find Natalie Kabra beautiful? And if yes, do you like*ahem* or possibly LOVE her? *mad genius cackle* I'll await your answer! Remember, better to be honest than be electrified by the machine if you don't answer correctly! MWAHAHAHA!_

Music4evah grinned. "See? I told you."

Dan grew even more pale than he had been before. He whimpered. "I don't. . . I don't really have to do that, do I?"

Ian laughed. "Yes! Pay back!"

Dan gulped. Amy was trying to hold back her laughter, and Natalie was gawking at her laptop. "Seriously!" she said. "I can't believe these people! Of _course_ I'm beautiful! Really, we don't need a lie detector to prove it."

Dan nodded. "Yeah. No lie detector. Come on, Music4evah! Don't make me do this!"

Music4evah shrugged. "Sorry, Dan. But you can't say 'no' to the reviewers. And besides, I want to know the answer, to!"

Dan sighed. "Do these people hate us, or what?"

Music4evah laughed. "Oh, on the contrary, Dan, these guys love you! They just think that it would be cute if you and Natalie got together."

Natalie almost threw up. "Cute?! Me, with a stupid orphan who has _no_ sense of style _whatsoever?!_ I can't believe this. . ."

Dan sighed. "Let's just get it over with. . ."

Music4evah grinned, and she pressed another button on her remote. A lie detector machine appeared, connected to Dan. Dan sighed, and said, "Ok, so Natalie's pretty hot, but really, she's just a Cobra inside. No way do I love or even _like_ her. Happy?"

Music4evah nodded. "I am. And sorry, readers, that Dan doesn't like Natalie. But this isn't really the kind of story were that can evolve. . . But it does in A Rose's Thorns! Alright, Let's look at the next fanmail. It's from Emma."

_Ian- If you could go on a date with Amy, but you had to go to a public place, like... Wendy's. Would you go? What is your favorite sport, if you had to chose?_

Ian read the his questions carefully, and then answered, "No, I would most certainly _not_ go to some revolting place like. . . What ever that place was called. Wendy's. What kind of restaurant name is that, anyways? If I went on a date with Amy, I would take her to some place much more worth while. . ." Ian and Amy blushed. "As for your next question, My favorite sport is Polo, of course!"

_Natalie- What do you really want to do right now? (Besides shoot people with your tranquilizer dart gun.)_

Natalie grinned. "I want to kill the troubador12, of course. What else?"

_Amy- If you could slap Ian silly for leaving you in the cave, would you? (If you don't I will.) Also who is better looking Ian, Hamilton, Jonah (EW!), or... Ned and Ted Starling?_

Amy rolled her eyes. "Of course I would! And I wouldn't mind if you did, too. And. . . Ian is m-m-most attractive. But that doesn't m-mean anything!"

Musci4evah grinned. "Sure it doesn't."

_Dan- If you HAD to marry someone who would it be... Natalie *smiles* , Natalie, or Natalie? (Not much choice there.)_

Dan groaned. "What is with these people?! Well, if I had to marry Natalie. . . I think I'd rather just kill myself."

Natalie raised an eyebrow. "Really? Would spending your life with someone as beautiful, rich, smart,–"

"We get it!" Music4evah said.

"–Be so horrible? I don't see how it could be. . . for you, at least. I would hate to marry you. . . ew!"

_You should make Ian apologize to Amy, but first make Amy slap him silly! (Ha ha!) Put Nellie on.\_

Music4evah grinned. "Ian should apologize to Amy. And your right, Amy should slap him silly first. And don't worry, Nellie will be answering fanmail, although I'm not sure which chapter yet. . .Hey Amy, want to slap Ian silly?"

Amy nodded. "Yes. I would like that very much."

Ian groaned. "Aw, come on, music4evah! Haven't I already suffered enough?"

Music4evah pretended to think, and then said, "No. That was just from Dan. Now you get some from Amy. . .heh heh heh. . ."

Amy stood up, and walked over to Ian. Ian stood up and tried to protect himself. "Please, Amy! Don't–"

To late. Amy slapped him. Hard. "That felt so good," She said.

Ian gasped. He put his hand to his cheek were Amy had slapped him. "Amy, did you just. . .?"

"Yeah," Amy said. "And watch!" She slapped him again. "I did it again!"

Amy slapped him a few more times, and then stomped on his foot for good measure. Then she stalked back to her seat. Ian stood there for a few seconds, and then he limped back to his seat.

Natalie giggled. "Maybe she's more than just a stuttering idiot."

"Hey!" Dan said before Amy could even take a breath. "You don't insult my sis! Only I can do that!"

Natalie glared at him. "If I had my gun. . . You wouldn't have finished that sentence."

"Hey!" Music4evah said. "You guys can kill each other later! I need you guys to answer your fanmail. Which reminds me, Ian, do you have something to say to Amy?"

Ian nodded. "One, that hurt."

"It was supposed to," Amy said.

Ian sighed. "I know. And I'm sorry. I wish that I hadn't left you in Korea, but really, I didn't have a choice. If I hadn't left you, Natalie probably would have hurt you. And I knew that you could get out. And you did."

Amy thought for a moment. "Apology accepted."

Ian let out a breath of relief. "So you forgive me?"

Amy shook her head. "I never said that."

Ian sighed. He wasn't sure why Amy wasn't forgiving him, but he decided not to ask.

Music4evah cleared her throat. "Ok, this next one is from edwardcullenrocksmysoxs."

_ok i have 2 questions 1 Ian since Amy now hates you would you ever date anyone beside her? just wondering p.s. u rock ian! lol_

_2 Natily if Dan asked you out would you say yes because we all know that you like him!_

Ian blushed. "Amy hates me. Good to know." Now it was Amy's turn to blush. Ian continued. "Well, I wouldn't date just anyone. . . But don't think that I would date you. I don't know who you are. Oh, and thanks for the complement." Ian sat back and turned to look at Natalie, who was fuming. "You. . . Think. I. Like. Dan?! Music4evah, GIVE ME MY GUN!!! I am sooo going to–"

"NATALIE! Stop! No!" Music4evah shouted. "Butler, get in here!"

Butler rushed in and picked up Natalie. She tried to hit him, but it really didn't do anything. He sat her back down in her seat, and then he stood behind her to make sure that she didn't try anything else.

"Now, Natalie, answer the question."

Natalie took a few deep breaths, and then said, "Over. My. Dead. Body."

Dan rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. I'm not that bad."

Amy raised an eyebrow. "Really? I seem to recall–"

"Don't! Even," Dan warned.

Amy grinned.

Music4evh laughed nervously. "Um, guys? There's still more from edwardcullenrocksmysoxs."

_oh and ask natily if she thinks dans hot and use like a lie thingy to make_

_sure she tells the truth!_

Natalie's eyes widened, and then she ran for it. But she didn't make it far. Soon she was attached to the lie detector.

"No!" she screamed. "Don't make me! Please!"

Ian chuckled. "Dan had to. Now it's your turn."

Natalie stopped struggling, and muttered something uncomprehensible.

"What?" Music4evah asked.

Natalie mumbled something again.

"Can you say that a little louder?"

"I THINK DAN'S HOT! Now let me out of this thing."

But everyone was to busy rolling on the floor laughing to help Natalie out. Except for Dan. He was still in shock.

"Dan, you idiot, get me out of this thing!" Natalie hissed. "And the rest of you stop laughing! NOW!!!"

Dan blushed, but he helped Natalie out. She was blushing furiously too, but she held her head up and pretended that she hadn't just gone through the most embarrassing moment of her life.

Finally everyone calmed down, and Music4evah said, "This next fanmail is from IanXAmy-DanXNatalieXD."

_Well you can sort of tell by my pen name what I like. So the moment if truth._

_Do you, obnoxious, annoying Natalie like Dan?_

_Do you, horribly stupid Ian like Amy?_

_Mwhahaha!!_

Natalie's jaw dropped. "Are you kidding me? I am certainly not obnoxious or annoying, and I certainly do _not_ like Dan." Natalie's statement sounded completely believable, but her face suggested otherwise. . .

Ian stared at his laptop.

"I. . . I suppose. . ." Ian and Amy were both blushing furiously.

Music4evah sighed, knowing that that was all that she was going to get. "Alright, the next fanmail is from troubadour12. Again."

Everyone was suddenly pale instead of read. Would this ever end?!

_LOL. It's hard to think of a question. Alright, I'm thinking of one right now...If Natalie had to choose between Dan, and, um, Hamilton,in a situation wherein their trapped somewhere and in order to get out, one of them must be left behind, who would Natalie save and who would she leave behind? Of course, the girl has to be among those who gets out._

Ian and Amy both sighed of relief. They were safe. For now. Dan wasn't so certain, and Natalie was just plain furious.

"LET ME KILL HER!!! GIVE ME MY GUN!!! I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN, TROUBADOR12! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! **GIVE ME MY GUN ALREADY!!!**" Natalie screamed.

The next few minutes were a bit chaotic, but finally Natalie was calm enough to answer the question. "I suppose I would take. . . Dan. . ." She muttered. "But only because Hamilton is a complete idiot and Dan is only an idiot. I _don't_ like him," she added in a rush.

"Ok," Music4evah said. "But Natalie, you can't kill troubador12. She hasn't finished A Rose's Thorns, and you have a major role in that. And she's one of my favorite authors, to."

Natalie huffed, but she nodded.

"Alright!" Music4evah continued. "The next one is from purplee cullencahill."

_i knew it :D_

_lets see... ask Ian and Natalie that what if the tables were turned and amy and Dan left you in the cave in korea, what would they do?_

Ian rolled his eyes. "Seriously, people, that would never have happened. And it never will. But, since this is hypothetical, if it did happen, which it wouldn't, Then Natalie and I would have made our way out of the cave, probably very similar to the way that Amy and Dan did, and then we would have tracked Amy and Dan down, and continued the race for the 39 clues. And Natalie probably would have wanted to kill them. . ."

"Ok, the next fanmail is from RoyalDanielle," Music4evah said.

_Awesome stuff! Okay, I have two questions._

_Ian,_

_What would you do if you found out that there are seething masses of fangirls waiting for you, but Amy is not there? Would you look for her or just pick a chick?_

_Natalie,_

_What would you do if I told you that Daniel Cahill is in love with you?_

Ian raised an eyebrow. "What kind of question is that? Of course I have seething masses of fangirls. But. . . most of those are just lame airheads who have nothing better to do than drool over a picture of me. So of course I would go look for Amy, if that was the only choice. She's much more down to Earth than any of those other girls."

Amy blushed, but she didn't say anything.

Natalie was rolling her eyes. "Will these people ever learn? I don't like Dan! I don't. Nothing that anyone says or does will ever change that. Nothing. . ." Natalie put her head on her hand and started tracing her finger on the table in random patterns.

Dan cleared his throat. "And, peoples? I don't like Natalie. Ok? . . ."

Music4evah chuckled and shook her head. "Right, sure. You guys should really stop pretending. Even though you think you're not pretending. Just face the truth!"

Dan and Natalie both raised an eyebrow.

"Fine," Music4evah sighed. "But someday. . . Well, anyways, this next one is from hanilove."

_I have a question for them (MUAHAHAHAHAHA!)! Ian: Do you have any romantic feelings for Amy? Any at all? Or are you really so heartless? (sorry, I was listening to Heartless by K.W.) Natalie: Who do you like and what is you favorite weapon? That's all I got to say aside from that this is a great fiction! Byes ^.^!_

Ian blushed. "I am not heartless. And. . . Amy, I. . ."

Amy looked up from her laptop. "Y-y-yes?"

Ian stared at her for a moment, and then said, "Never mind," and looked away.

Music4evah sighed. "Man you guys are so uncooperative. Alright Natalie, your turn."

Natalie sighed. "I don't like Dan. . ." but everyone (except Dan) knew that this excuse was becoming old and weak.

"Just face it, Natalie." Ian said.

Natalie glared at him. "I have nothing to face! Now, as for my favorite weapon. . . I'm glad you asked! It's the only sensible question anyone _has_ asked. . . My favorite would be my dart gun. I can use any kind of darts, and they work quite effectively. It's also very easy to sneak past airports. Very easy."

Music4evah nodded. "Ok. Next one is from xxxkgcxxx."

_Can you like put Ian and Natalie in there?_

_Questions:_

_1. Amy: If you had one day to live and someone gave you a list of people to spend it with, but you can only chose 2,who would you chose? Imagine the list having: your brother and your enemies._

Music4evah sighed. "Seriously, didn't they read chapter 3?"

Amy was staring hard at the question. "Um, well, I would choose Dan and Grace. I know you didn't say Grace was on the list, but. . ." Amy gazed kind of wistfully into space, but then she snapped back. "There. Who's the n-next fanmail f-from?"

"merponiesrule13." said Music4evah.

_For Ian: Ian, just how much do you like Amy? Oh and for Music4evah: Love the STORY!_

"Thank you!" Music4evah smiled. It was nice to be appreciated.

"How much do I like Amy?" Ian said. He glanced at Amy. "Hard to say. . . but I might as well say it now." Ian took a deep breath. "Amy, I love you. A lot. And. . . I would like to know if you love me too."

Amy blushed, and somehow she managed to get out, "I. . . I love you too, Ian."

Dan groaned, and Natalie rolled her eyes, and then Amy hit Dan upside the head.\

"OW! What was THAT for?!"

Amy sighed. "Because you are a dweeb. Really, I don't know WHY Natalie likes you."

Natalie was about to protest and ask for her gun again, but Music4evah said, "Last fanmail, guys! It's from exquisitness."

_Alright, quick question Ian (probably the same one that everyone else has): Did you actually like Amy in Korea? Or was that just an act? And if it wasn't, how come you chose your sister over your girlfriend? And Natalie, is there anyone whom you've met with who you might think about romantically in the future?_

Ian cleared his throat, and said, "Yes, I did like Amy in Korea. And I believe I already stated in my apology my reasons for leaving Amy in that cave. And she wasn't my girlfriend. . ."

Natalie was staring at her laptop hopelessly. Why did everyone think that she like Dan? But then again. . .

No. She didn't. Did she? Maybe she should just admit it. . .

But then again, the question hadn't specifically mentioned Dan. . .

Natalie made up her mind.

"Yes, actually."

Everyone gawked at Natalie, even Butler, who quickly regained his composer.

"Who?" Dan said hoarsely. Natalie liked somebody? Who? He was probably just some snobby rich brat. . . Why should he care? He didn't. Or did he? No. He didn't. He couldn't. But, surprisingly enough, he did.

Natalie took a deep breath, and said, "Oh, just someone I met once at school in England."

Ian raised an eyebrow. He knew Natalie was lying, but he wasn't sure why.

Dan slumped in his chair. "Oh."

Amy looked at Dan. Why was he so down? Unless. . . Oh. So he did like Natalie! But how had the lie detector not picked that up? _He must have not realized he liked her until now! _Amy thought. She looked at Natalie, only to see that Natalie was gazing at Dan intently. Amy smiled. So Natalie was trying to see if Dan was jealous. Clever.

Natalie sighed. "But, then again, he can be a real push over at times. . ."

Dan perked up. "_Really? _I-I mean. . . Oh. Well, I guess there's nothing between you two then. Is there?" He asked anxiously.

Natalie bit her lip. "Probably not," she said cautiously. "But I'm also thinking of another guy that is a possibility. And. . . I guess I kind of like him . . . And I'm hoping that he likes me too." Natalie watched Dan carefully.

Dan slumped down again. "Oh."

Natalie took a breath. "Don't you want to know who it is?"

Dan shrugged.

Music4evah sighed. Dan didn't get it. "I'm sure the readers would like to know," she told Natalie encouragingly.

Natalie nodded, and said, "His name is Daniel Cahill."

Dan froze. "M-m-me?'

Natalie nodded. Then she blushed and looked down at the table.

Dan sat in his seat for a moment, taking the information in.

Music4evah was smiling. "I guess this _is_ the kind of story were your relationship evolves!"

"What?" asked Dan.

"It's not like we're together or anything!" protested Natalie. "Just. . . we just like each other. That's all."

Dan nodded. "Yeah.

Music4evah shrugged. "Well, I guess I won't get anymore than that. So, anyways, I hope you liked this chapter! There was a LOT of romance in this. . . So, remember to review! Buh bye!"

* * *

**Music4evah: If you want, in your review, you can request who you want to answer fanmail next, although I already have it pretty much planned out.**

**Natalie: You readers will PAY for making me go thru this.**

**Ian: Natalie, let it go. Besides, this chapter ended up pretty well, right?**

**Butler: Yes, it did. Now I better go check on Artemis. . . I hope he's not in too much trouble. . .**

**Music4evah: Don't worry! I'm sure he's fine. . . Snap, I bet I jinxed that AGAIN! Sigh. . . Well, anyways, REVIEW!!! (You know you want to.)**


	5. Chapter 5

Music4evah put a big smile on her face, and said to all of the readers, "Hello again, everyone! And welcome to my studio. Again. Now, as some of you requested, and as I had originally planned, the next characters who are answering their fanmail are Nellie Gomez and Jonah Wizard! Please pretend that you like Jonah and applaud for him. Or I will never hear the end of it. (However, you do not have to pretend with Nellie. We all know that she's wicked awesome.) So cheer. Please. Thank you."

Jonah frowned. "What d'ya mean, 'pretend'? O' course they like me! I'm the hippest gangsta this world has evah seen!"

Music4evah tried to smile. "Yeah. . . um. . .just a little. . .joke. Between me and the readers. . . yeah. You wouldn't get it. Because. . . um. . . Nellie will tell you," Music4evah hurriedly said. Sure, Jonah Wizard didn't so much as raise a finger to do anything, but you still didn't want to get on his bad side. There were plenty of people who would raise much more than a finger for Jonah.

Nellie sighed. "Thanks a lot, Mu. You wouldn't get it because. . . it's in a secret code. That you don't know. Yeah. So. . . there. Music4evah, you can tell him the code."

Music4evah made a face at Nellie. "Thanks a lot," she muttered. Then, a little more audibly, "Uh, I can't tell you the secret code, because. . . then it wouldn't be a secret!"

Jonah pondered for a minute, and then said, "Oh, that makes tons o' sense! So, when do I answer my millions of fanmail?"

Music4evah rolled her eyes. "Sorry Jonah, not until next chapter. But just so you know, you won't get millions, because–"

Music4evah was cut off, because Jonah started screaming, "What?! What d'ya mean, I won't get MILLIONS?! OF COURSE I WILL! I, am JONAH–"

"Wizard!" Music4evah interrupted. "Yeah. We know. But the reason why, is because their aren't millions of readers. Probably no more than 100. That read this story, at least."

Jonah glared at Music4evah, and then sighed. It made sense. But he was Jonah Wizard! _Everybody_ knew that he had millions of fans. _More of them should have accounts on fanfiction_, Jonah thought.

Nellie rolled her eyes. "Whatev. Just send in your fanmail, and I'll answer your questions. It's not like I have millions of fans or anything. (Although it would be cool if I did.)"

Music4evah raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Oh really? We'll see about that. Until next time! Or chapter, I should say. And Jonah, remember, this is MY studio. No ordering people around like you're king of the world while we wait for reviews. Ok? Ok," Music4evah commanded.

Jonah glared. "But I AM king o' the world. O' Gangsta's, at least. . ." he muttered.

Music4evah pretended that she didn't hear what he said. "Review!"

- - -

**Jonah: Somebody, get em a low-fat coffee! Now!**

**Music4evah: Jonah, what did I say about ordering people around?**

**Jonah:. . .to not to . . .**

**Music4evah: Right. And besides, we don't have coffee here. It's bad for you, so nobody in my studio drinks it.**

**Jonah: I'M LEAVING!!!**

**Music4evah: Oh, snap, Jonah, wait! Um. . .How about. . . you go outside the studio for a few seconds, and get a coffee outside? (I can't believe this guy. . .) Hey, is that a video camera?! I said no recording the fanmail. . . whatever you call it! Get that guy out of here!**

**Jonah: Man, this place sucks.**

**Nellie: Are you kidding, Jonah? This place rocks! Awesome studio, Music4evah.**

**Music4evah: Thanks! But we better wrap this up. So. . . Review!!! :] It would make Jonah most happy. And maybe he would stop ordering people around long enough to answer his fanmail and then get out of here. Please. Spare me.**


	6. Chapter 6

Music4evah put on a big smile, and cleared her throat. "Welcome again, readers! To my studio. Again. Now, all of the fanmail that we have made time for is in, and Nellie and Jonah are very excited to answer all of your questions."

"We are?" Jonah asked. He was still a little put out from the last chapter.

Music4evah glared at him and elbowed him in the ribs. "Yes, you are," she said through gritted teeth.

Nellie smiled. "Well, I am. Let's get this party started!"

Music4evah nodded. "_Thank you! _Now. This first fanmail is from madly9."

Nellie and Jonah quickly turned to their screens, and read the following.

_Awsome story! Love it! Anway, here are two questions I'd like to ask:_

_1. This is for Nellie. Nellie, if Dan and Amy's great aunt Beatrice didn't hire you, where do you think you'd be now?_

Nellie tilted her head and shrugged. "Still living in Boston. Cooking. Au pairing other kids who live normal lives."

_2. This one is for Music4evah (if I'm allowed to ask). Is there anyone in the series that you like. Oh, and wear a lie detecting machine so you can't lie (again, if I'm allowed to ask you)._

_Can't wait for the next chapter. 39 Clues rocks!_

Music4evah blushed. "Well, yes, you are allowed to ask, but if I may ask other reviewers, please try to refrain from asking me. After all, this is about the characters in the 39 Clues series. Not me. But I will answer your question."

Music4evah attached herself to the lie detector. "To answer your question, no, I don't like anyone in the series. Although I've seen pictures of most of the people in it, and I think Hamilton Holt is actually kind of cute, surprisingly. But he's not my type. And I think Ian looks way to old in his pictures."

Music4evah detached herself from the lie detector, and went back to her seat with her laptop. "Now, this next one–"

"Wait!" said Jonah. "You don't like me?!"

Music4evah made a face. "Uh, no. Wasn't that obvious from the last chapter?"

Jonah slumped down in his seat and muttered something uncomprehensible, but Music4evah ignored him.

"Alright. Now, I have a little something for Ian."

Nellie's brow furrowed. "But Ian's not here. Is he?"

Music4evah shook her head. "Nope. I'm gonna email it to him. Because I think he deserves it. It's from Emma."

_I am glad that Amy got to slap Ian. Now I want to insult Ian... *mutters under breath lame airheads, drool over a picture of you? In a MILLION YEARS! I rather kiss Hamilton Holt!*_

Nellie was soon rolling on the floor laughing. Jonah was trying to contain his laughter, but soon gave up. Music4eah was chuckling. She agreed with Emma whole heartedly. When everyone was done laughing, Music4evah sent the email. Within moments, they could suddenly hear yelling. They couldn't make it out, but Music4evah was sure that it was Ian.

"I guess he got the email! Good for him. Now, this next fanmail is from guiltypleasurex. And Em! Get in here for a sec!"

Another 13 year old girl appeared in the room.

"Hey Emily!" Music4evah said. "Can you go shut up Ian? He's being rather obnoxious."

Emily nodded. "Sure!" Then she disappeared.

Music4evah waited a few seconds, and sure enough, the yelling was cut off.

Nellie shuddered. "Who is that?"

Music4evah grinned. "A friend."

"Why didn't you just use Butler?"

Music4evah shrugged. "It was just Ian. And I don't think I'll get Butler back. . . Well, maybe for the Holts. And maybe I'll have Em with him, too. . . But anyways, here's the fanmail!"

_to music4evah: one of the best stories on 39 clues fanfiction! :D 5 stars._

_to nellie: have you ever wondered if you're secretly a cahill? i mean, look at the facts! you think like one sometimes. so?_

_oh, jonah. what WILL we do with you? :/ hahaa, anyways, i have question for jonah [mainly so he'll stop running his mouth. heh.]._

_who is the coolest person you know? you can't say yourself or any of your family members. HA! xP_

"Thank you!" Music4evah beamed. It was nice to be appreciated.

Nellie pondered her question. "Hm, secretly a Cahill, huh? Well, thanks for the complement. Or is that an insult? Ah well. I don't really think I am one. I mean, I'm not super smart, and I'm not super strong, and I'm not super sneaky, although I guess it is possible that I could be a Janus. . ." Nellie shrugged.

Jonah was glaring at his computer screen. What was up with these people? He'd have to talk to his dad about them. They were going to pay. Big time. But, in the mean time, his question. "The coolest person I know? Huh. I'd say Zac Efron."

Nellie's jaw dropped. "YOU _KNOW_ HIM?!"

Jonah nodded. "Yeah. Come to think of it, he owes me a favor. . ."

Nellie's mouth was still in an _O_.

Music4evah reached over and closed it. Nellie jumped. "Sorry," Music4evah said. "It's just, if you happened to start drooling, this carpet is kind of expensive. I've already got a major bill what with my remote, getting you guys on the show, and paying Emily and Butler for their help."

Nellie shrugged. "Sorry."

Jonah rolled his eyes.

"Ok!" Music4evah continued. "This next one is from her-bloody-majesty."

_it's mari again! okay, for Jonah, do you think you're going to have a love interest in the series? and will you make another appearance in book five? and for Nellie,were you implying in book four that Amy should move on? and Jonah are you aware of the Amy/Ian conspiracy?_

Jonah raised an eyebrow. "What kind of question is that? A love interest? Really, I could get anyone I want. But I'd rather stick to finding the clues and just doin' my thang. And no, I don't make an appearance in book five. And yes, because this is fanfiction, I do know about the whole Amy-Ian thang."

"Don't you mean thing?" Music4evah asked.

"No." Jonah said.

"Oh. . . well, anyways, Nellie, it's your turn!"

Nellie nodded. "Yes, in book four, I am telling Amy to move one. Didn't you read it? It said that I was."

"No it didn't," Jonah said.

"Yes, it did. It said that Amy knew that I was trying to tell her to move on."

Jonah rolled his eyes. "No specifically."

"It was plenty specific!"

Music4evah held up her hands. "Ok, ok! Stop fighting! Wow, Nellie, I cannot believe that in book 1 you were like a HUGE fan of Jonah."

Nellie snorted. "That was before I knew that he was a jerk."

Music4evah nodded. "Alright, this next fanmail is from IanXAmy-DanXNatalieXD."

_Nellie: If you had to date Ian Kabra, Jonah Wizard or Dan Cahill for a year, who would you choose? MUST BE SOMEONE!_

Nellie snorted again. "Come on! I'm 19, peoples! No way am I dating an eleven year old, fourteen year old, or. . . Jonah, how old are you?"

Jonah raised an eyebrow. "I can't believe this. . ." he groaned.

Nellie sighed. "Well, if I had to choose someone. . . ew. Not Dan. He's to young. Not Ian. He's to young as well. And he's a jerk. And not Jonah. He's _also_ to young, and a jerk. Urgh, why must you torture me?! I really don't know. This is just to horrid to think about."

Music4evah held back her giggles. "You can't choose just one?"

Nellie shook her head. "If I did, I might throw up."

Music4evah nodded. "Well, I guess we should move on to the next fanmail, then. This one is from purplee cullencahill."

_yey!_

_to jonah: do you have any new projects? have you considered ant other type of music other then gangster music?_

Jonah grinned. "Finally! A good question! Well, yeah, I do have so' work goin', but I'm not allowed to give a peep about it! I know, stinks, right? And, yeah, I've considered other types, like rock, hip hop, that sort o' stuff."

_For Nellie: YOU ARE SO AWESOME! What's your fave animal?_

Nellie smiled. "Why thank you! My favorite animals are monkeys. I have a picture of one for my picture on that CliqueMe thing."

Music4evah nodded. "Oh yeah, I've seen that! Dan thought it was Amy."

Nellie grinned. "No surprise there."

Music4evah and Nellie both laughed.

"Ok," Music4evah continued. "Next fanmail is from exquisitness."

_Alright, so Jonah Wizard...what should I ask you? Oh! I know! Now, be honest, at the beginning of your career, how did you feel about all the constant cameras? Oh, and by the way, in case you haven't noticed, being a real gangster can get you killed, and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop saying that it's cool._

Jonah glared at the last sentence, but he didn't comment on it. Instead, he just answered the question. "Well, at the beginning, It was a little nerve racking, to tell the truth. But I got used to it fast."

_Nellie, You are awesome! 'Nuf said xP. Just keep doing what you're doing._

Nellie grinned. "Thanks!"

"The next one is from Emma."

_Jonah- Why do you think you are so cool? (Even though you are not?)Although, I sort of, kind of in a way liked your diamond rap. If you HAD TO chose another branch besides Janus, which would it be? Who is better looking, Amy Cahill or Natalie Kabra?_

Jonah gawked. "Not cool?! Who does she think she is?! Of course I'm COOL!"

Jonah fumed for a while, but then he was calm enough to answer his questions.

"Ok, you should know that no branch is cooler then the Janus. But if I had to choose another one. . .Well, I would go with Thomas, because those guys are pretty buff. I could probably persuade almost anyone to do or get what I wanted. And, it's obvious that Natalie is better looking, but really, she is a brat. And a little kid."

_Nellie- YOU ROCK! Why aren't you there when Amy and Dan get it trouble? The only time you were was when you were in Paris. What is your favorite music artist? If you HAD TO chose any Cahill branch, which one would it be?_

Nellie smiled. "Why thank you," she said. "And I _would_ be around for Amy and Dan if they would just warn me! Or stop disappearing. Or stop getting in trouble. And my favorite music artist? Hm, hard to choose. Well, I would choose Styx. They are pretty awesome. And if I had to choose a Cahill branch? I dunno. Janus, maybe. I mean, they have all the music type stuff, and cooking is technically an art, so. . ." Nellie shrugged, and then turned to Music4evah.

_Music4Evah- Do you think you could temporarily get Theo on so that Nellie can tackle him? You are so AWESOME for doing theses!_

Music4evah smiled. "I am awesome, aren't I? Hey, Em! Can you find Theo for me? Tell him I have a little surprise for him!" Music4evah called out. Then she lowered her voice back to normal. "You do want to tackle him, don't you Nellie?"

Nellie grinned, and nodded eagerly.

Music4evah grinned too, but slightly more evilly. She raised her voice again. "Em? Did you find him?"

"Yes!" they heard.

Music4evah grinned again. "Ok, Nellie. Get ready. . ."

Theo walked into the room, looking a little confused, and nervous. He had read the other chapters of this story, and he knew that Music4evah's surprises weren't always the kind that you like. . .

Nellie was immediately on top of him, scratching and punch and kicking and. . . well, you couldn't see half of what she was doing, but from the sounds that Theo was making, it wasn't pretty.

Finally, Nellie stood up and stepped back from Theo. She patted down her hair and clothes, and said simply, "That was nice," and returned to her seat.

Muci4evah put a hand to her mouth to stop the giggles, and Jonah was staring in shock at Theo, then Nellie, and then back to Theo.

Theo didn't look to good. He managed to crawl out of the room, and then Emily helped him to the studio's hospital.

Nellie grinned. "That was fun. What else do you have?"

"This next one is from edwardcullenrocksmysoxs."

_ok Question 4 Nellie: who is your fave music group or fave song. p.s. u do have millions of fans cause u rock! go Au Pairs!_

_Q 4 Jonah: can you talk properly for the rest of this chapter? and if u cant then u suck!_

Nellie smiled. "I said Styx earlier, didn't I? And thanks! I didn't realize that I had so many fans. Thanks!"

Jonah mumbled something incomprehensible, and then said, "Of _course _I can talk properly. But it's for the whole– never mind. I wouldn't expect you to understand. What's next, Music4evah?"

"A review from xxPrincessOfTheOceanxx," Music4evah said.

_Yay! Nellie!_

_For Jonah: What's with the gangster talk? Do you talk naturally like that, or are you just pretending?_

_For Nellie: OMG, Nellie you are my idol! What's one of your favorite songs?_

Jonah glared. "What's with these people?"

Nellie rolled her eyes. "Obviously, you have less fans then you thought. But anyways, THANK YOU! I didn't know people idolized me. And my favorite song. . . I have so many favorites at this moment, it's hard to choose,"

Music4evah smiled. "That's fine. (A/N: Besides peoples, I don't know that many goth or punk bands and stuff. That's why I wrote Styx.) So, this next fanmail is from Abril."

_this story is AWESOME! i love it!_

_so,_

_Jonah, if you were just a regular person, who wasnt rich and famous, how do you think people would treat you? because i mean, really..._

_Nellie, what's your fave band ever?_

Jonah sighed. "But I _am_ rich and famous."

"But what if you weren't?" Music4evah asked.

"But I am."

"But _what if you weren't?_"

"But I _AM!_"

Music4evah rolled her eyes. "Jonah, this is hypothetical. Answer the question."

Jonah huffed, and said, "I don't see the point of this question, but I guess. . . I would just be a normal guy (oh, the horror!) And people would treat me like one. (Once again, oh, the horror!)"

Nellie sighed. "Stop whining! And I'm surprised that I'm getting asked this question so much. It's interesting."

"Yeah, it is," Music4evah agreed. "Alright, this one is from Bluestocking inc."

_Let me first say you have a cool story here, Music4evah! Nellie you rock! Heres your questions:_

_Nellie Gomez and Jonah Wizard,_

_How do YOU feel about IanxAmy? Is it the cutest thing ever or is it disgusting to love the enemy?_

_Jonah Wizard,_

_When was the last time you did charity work? If you've ever done it at all, that is?_

_Nellie Gomez,_

_What was your faviorite place you visited since you started the hunt?_

Nellie and Jonah both started talking at the same time, and Music4evah had to sort out which one talked first.

"Of course it's disgusting!" said Jonah. "Really. Keep your mind on the prize!"

Nellie shook her head. "I think it's kinda cute. If Ian would stop being jerk, that is. Amy's got it tough enough."

"And I _have_ done charity work before!" Jonah protested. "I mean, I sing and act for people, don't I? I provide them with entertainment. That's charity!"

Music4evah snorted. "Well, it's obvious that Jonah _hasn't_ done charity in his life, so let's move on to Nellie's question."

Music4evah and Nellie both ignored the wave of protests that came from Jonah.

"My favorite place, huh? Probably Cairo. There was some cool stuff there, and really exotic food! Even though Theo kind of betrayed me in that area. . . I don't mind that much, I guess. Cairo is a really beautiful city."

"Ok, next fanmail is from soldiergrl18," Music4evah said.

_Music4evah, you rock! (WAY more than Jonah anyways...)_

_Jonah, if you weren't in the hunt for the clues, what would you be doing right now? _

Music4evah smiled. "Thank you!"

Jonah rolled his eyes. "I'd still be doing my work! Duh."

Nellie snorted. "What work? All you do is–"

"Ok!" Music4evah interrupted. "Let's move on. So that you don't fight. Please. Ok. Next one is from veVeon."

_Music4evah: this is a really great idea!!_

"Thanks!" music4evah beamed.

_My questions are:_

_Jonah: If you needed to murder someone, how would you murder that person?_

Jonah thought for a moment. "Hm, I would get somebody to do it for me. Like I usually do. Oops, shouldn't have said that."

_Nellie: Tell the truth! Do you like Amy or Dan more? (music4evah, hook her up to the liar detector thingy :) Mwahahahaaha)_

Nellie rolled her eyes, but she obliged to veVeon. "Ok, I guess I like Amy more, one, because she is more mature, two, because she doesn't get into trouble as much as Dan, (Dan just makes go with him) and three, because she doesn't burp the alphabet every other day. Case closed."

Nellie stepped out from the lie detector, and took her seat again.

"Ok, this one is from EM98."

_hi Jonah and Nellie_

_Jonah: we all hate you so i have invited spar from the secrets of droon series to torchture you cause i hate you and did i mention i told him when he was done torching you to dress him up as a evil ninga and put him in a room with a crazy Dan with ninga powers_

_Nellie: you rock! Here is a crossbow with unlimted ammo pick who you want to spend the day and you can pick any one from lord of the rings and Percy Jackson and the Olympinans_

"Wow." Nellie said. "They have some bad spelling."

Music4evah nodded. "And I can't even remember who Spar is, because I haven't read the Droon series in a while. Or is he. . . Oh! I remember who he is now! Man, I hate that Spar guy. No way am I letting him into my studio! Not even to beat up Jonah Wizard. That guy probably wouldn't do it anyways. And Nellie, you are not allowed to go over to the Lord of the Rings or PJO, because _I love those books_, and if anything happens to the characters, I will have to kill you. Which I don't want to do. Are we clear?"

Nellie and Jonah nodded.

"Good. But I might just have to send a little something to EM98 for suggesting that. . . maybe next chapter. Alright, next fanmail is from guiltypleasurex."

_eyy. :)_

_to nellie: if dan and amy weren't your au pairees, would you rather have ian and natalie as your au pairees or jonah as your au pairee?_

_hehehe..._

Nellie thought for a minute. "Ian and Natalie. Au Pairing Jonah would just be weird. And although Ian and Natalie are brats, I would probably get payed better, and I get a lot more conveniences. Besides the whole 39 Clues deal."

Jonah glared at Nellie. Music4evah elbowed him.

"Ow!" Jonah cried. "What was that for?!"

"For everything. Now, the next fanmail is from xxDL194xx."

_to all characters: who do u think should play you in the 39 clues movie?_

Jonah rolled his eyes. "Me, of course! After all, I am an actor."

Nellie shrugged. "Whoever does the part best, I guess."

"Ok, then. Next fanmail is from Proclaimer."

_Jonah, you are a JERK._

_Nellie, you rock!_

_Questions..._

_1. Jonah, if you had to switch places with Dan, Amy, or Grace's cat, Saladin, which would you choose?_

_2 What's your fave song, Nellie?_

_That's all!I love this, Music4evan!_

Jonah glared. "I would be Dan. He's a dude. Amy's a girl. Saladin is a _cat_. Case closed."

Nellie shrugged. "I'm getting asked this a lot, aren't I?"

Music4evah nodded. "Yes. Yes you are. Probably because you're always listening to your ipod. But anyways, this one is from Rogue di WeReWoLf. (By the way, awesome name! Wolves are my favorite animal. You rock!)"

_Hey Nellie it so awesome up the road in a HYBRID!_

_ok Nellie who do you like or possibly love?_

_Hi Jonah_

"Ooh, I should try that some time!" Nellie exclaimed. "And I did like Theo. . . That is, until he totally betrayed me. And I don't really have any crushes at this moment, so–"

"WHAY?!' Jonah yelled. "'Hi Jonah'?! That's ALL?!! I can't believe this! I demand–!"

"JONAH!!!' Music4evah yelled. "Quit. It. We only have one more fanmail. And then, you will be gone from my studio for forever!!! Yes! Joy to the world! Ok, this last one is from IceCreamGurl6455."

_Wow, love this! I wanted to know_

_1. If Amy would date Harry Potter if she had the chance_

_2. If Natalie would be too chicken to take a dare_

_* If yes, Bawk Bawk Bawk!_

_* If no, then you HAVE to get your hair cut. To look like Dan's._

_3. If Jonah knows how to talk normal, and not like a 'Gangsta'_

_* Hook him up to the lie detector please!_

_4. How many songs are on Nellie's iPod, and if she could please sing her favorite for me._

_5. *THIS IS A DARE* Put Dan in a straightjacket if you must, but make him kiss Natalie_

_6. What Ian would do if his parents went bankrupt._

_Thanks, and please interview NRR!_

Music4evah rolled her eyes. "Really, these people just don't understand that Amy, Dan, Natalie and Ian have already had their turn, and you can't ask them any more questions!!! But anyways, Nellie, Jonah, answer your questions."

Jonah huffed. "Of course I know. That's what I've been doing this whole time."

Nellie answered her question without a second of hesitation. "3,942. I need to put on like 500 more, though."

Music4evah smiled. "Finally! We are done! Yes! Jonah, GET OUT OF HERE!!! Emily! Show Jonah out! Please!"

Emily swiftly came in, and with surprising strength, dragged Jonah out the door and out of the studio. For good.

"Yes!" Music4evah cried. "Nellie, if you want, I don't really care. Anyways, review, readers! This was one looooong chapter. And please, refrain from asking Amy, Dan, Ian, Natalie, Nellie, or Jonah anymore questions! In the next chapter, I'll introduce who's answering their fanmail next, and then you can review that chapter and send them your fanmail. See ya! I need a break."

- - -

**I hope you like it! Sorry it took so long, but whoo am I tired! Jonah is really a handful. So review, but don't ask the past people ANY MORE QUESTIONS!!! It gets really annoying.**

**Review!!! :]**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Music4evah put a smile on her face. No matter what, _no matter what,_ Music4evah was going to make sure that she had a fun time doing this chapter. Despite the people who were in it. Besides, Jonah wouldn't be back for a looong time. That made this more bearable.

"Welcome to my studio! And here we are again, ready to introduce the next characters who will answer their fan mail. Or, as some people have been writing it, death mail. But anyways, here they are, Irina Spasky, former KGB agent, and Alistair Oh, the inventor of the. . .burrito that you can put in microwaves, or whatever they are! Anyways, say hello to the people, guys!"

Alistair raised an eyebrow. "Hello?"

Irina just snorted.

Music4evah tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace. "Um. . . well, anything you'd like to say before we wait for the death-I mean fan mail." Music4evah gave an uneasy laugh. "Alistair? Irina?"

Alistair said thoughtfully, "Just don't ask me to do anything embarrassing, like what I've seen in the past chapters. . ."

Irina glared and started mumbling who knows what in Russian.

"What was that, Irina?" Music4evah asked. "On second thought. . . I'm not sure I want to know. But anything you want to tell the haters-I mean fans."

Irina narrowed her eyes. "You'd better watch out. Or I'll. . ." Irina produced her hand, as if expecting something to happen. "What?" she hissed. "Where. . .? Music4evah!"

Music4evah sunk down in her chair a little lower. "I took away your finger needles for a reason!"

Irina reached down to her waist, and then seemed confused. Then it dawned. "You did not. You-"

"Don't kill me!" Music4evah screamed. "I did it for security reasons! This is my studio, and you guys have to obey MY rules! There are no guns in here! Unless you have special permission- But that's beside the point!" Music4evah put her arms protectively around her head.

Irina stood up, hissing what must be insults in Russian, which both Music4evah and Alistair thanked their lucky stars that they couldn't understand it. Music4evah sighed.

"Irina, sit down. When this is all over, you get your stuff back. When you're out of my studio. Ok?"

Irina glared at her again, but she sat down and seemed to calm down.

Music4evah gave a sigh of relief. "Ok. That went better then I thought it would. Send in your death-I mean _fan. . ._ mail."

- - -

**Sorry that this took so long! But send in your death- I MEAN FAN! Fan mail. That's what I meant. Don't laugh at me. Ok, fine, you can laugh. But send it in quickly, Irina's getting. . .well, let's just say she's impatient. Alistair's getting a little anxious, too. He doesn't exactly. . .**_**like**_** Irina. **

**SEND IT IN!!!**

**You shouldn't have to much trouble with that.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8-

"Irina!" Music4evah screamed. "Put that down ! No-Stop it! Ow! _Irina! _We're starting! Irina! ...Thank you."

Music4evah sat back down in her chair, her hair slightly mussed. "Irina, if you do that again, I promise you, I will write a story that even _you_ will find cruel."

Irina paled slightly.

Alistair came out from hiding behind his chair.

Music4evah cleared her throat. "Sorry, readers, that you had to witness such _high disrespect_ from Irina."

Irina snorted. "You didn't even let them see it. You just let them hear you say-"

"Irina, I don't want to change the rating!"

Irina rolled her eyes and muttered something in Russian.

"Let's get started now, shall we?" Music4evah asked. "Alright. Here is the first fanmail."

Irina smirked. "Don't you mean-"

"Don't! Say it." Music4evah interrupted. "I never meant that. But...You might start to think of it that way, from all the reviews you've gotten."

Irina and Alistair turned to their laptops.

"This first one is from exquisitness."

_Hm...what to ask? Alistair Oh: Now that you're presumed dead by most of the people in the 39 Clues, how exactly are you going to help Amy and Dan? And are you still in the race?_

Alistair rolled his eyes. "Really, of course I'm still in the race."

"Sadly," Irina muttered.

Alistair glared. "And I thought I explained in the fourth book how I was going to help them."

"I thought they didn't trust you," Irina said.

"Irina wasn't this talkative in the books, was she Music4evah?" Alistair protested.

Music4evah shrugged. "Didn't you read them? Well, she can be-Ok! I'll shut up! Stop glaring at me..."

Irina muttered in Russian. Then she turned back to the fanmail.

_Irina: What other things besides your finger needles do you usually keep on your person? And how do you get the funds to buy your poisons and weapons?_

Irina snarled. "These people know to much."

Music4evah shrugged. "Blame the authors. Who I am _not_ bringing here for you to kill! If you did, they wouldn't be able to write anything else!"

"That's the point! But I wasn't going to ask that."

Music4evah shrugged. "I wouldn't have put it past you."

"Makes sense. Now, exquisitness...You don't _reall_ythink that I would tell you all of my secrets, do you? And as for my funds...You don't want to know. Really. Unless..."

"No!" Music4evah interrupted. "I'm _not_ changing the rating. It's amazing that I haven't already..." she muttered.

"Anyways, the next one is from edwardcullenrocksmysoxs."

_ok first off i love Alistair not like that but he is one of my fave charectors well hes my fave Ekat... anyway i kinda like Irina too so here we go..._

_Alistair say they were both ur age who would u choose Natalie or Irina as like a wife or girlfriend? ( there both some of my fave charectars so dont take it offencivly we even got to pick our frech names and i picked natalie lol!!)_

Alistair gulped. "I won't be able to answer that, will I?" he asked nervously.

Irina glared. "No, you won't."

Alistair composed himself. "Well, first of all, horrible grammar and spelling. What do you mean you got to pick your french names? That didn't make sense. And...I'll stop talking," he said as Irina started glare menacingly.

Music4evah shrank back in her seat, trying not to be noticed in case things got out of hand.

_If Irina and Dan were trapped in a room and Irina had all her weapons and stuff adn Dan had his nija skillz who would win? (i know dans gone but bring back for this one pretty please!)_

Irina raised an eyebrow. "Ninja skills? Really? Do you _want_ me to kill him? I'd be happy too-"

"No." Music4evah cut in. She was starting to get tired of this. "You can't kill him. Fanfiction can't really allow that...I mean, you could, but with the power of fanfiction and all, it would be easy to bring him back and pretend that nothing had happened. But anyways...I don't think all of the fangirls out there would really like to see...or rather read....that. Would they? I mean, she wanted it...but I guess she didn't really consider the fact that Dan could die..."

Irina rolled her eyes. "Of course he would!"

Music4evah continued contemplating. "But there is the fact that he would have those Ninja powers... So it could be possible..."

Irina smirked. "Want to see the little orphan try? And fail?"

Alistair finally shook his head. "No! Music4evah, I'm sorry, but-"

"No, it's ok!" Music4evah insisted. "I can understand that you don't want Dan to get hurt. And Irina...You'd probably be kinda hurt somewhat, too... Don't give me that look! Anyways...Hey, random thought, here, have you read that story, Morbid Curiosity?"

Irina and Alistair stared at Music4evah.

Music4evah looked back and forth between them for a while, and then muttered, "What? Irina's in it...Whatever... here's the next fanmail from crazy dragon lord..."

_Sorry Alistair but your wish isn't come true, due to me being a Lucian. I order you to to throw Irina into a jet wind tunnel. Music4evah, give SOMEONE their needles back with a painful aftertaste._

Irina stood up. "How dare they!" Then she started shouting and screaming in Russian.

Music4evah sighed. "Irina. Don't make me-Shut it! Irina! Sit down."

Irina sat. But she was still fuming.

"Ok, now Alistair...Alistair?"

Alistair was running as fast as he could to the other side of the room, trying to find a door or a window. But, as you learned in some of the previous chapters, there was none.

Music4evah sighed. "Alistair, come back. If you throw Irina-Irina sit down! Stop talking. Don't make me change the rating. Thank you. Alistair, if you threw Irina into a jet wind tunnel, if I was able to get one...ooh, that could be pricey...But anyways, if you did that, she wouldn't die. When she came, back, after visiting the Studio's Hospital...I'd make sure that there was no blood or anything. And I don't think I'll be able to give any needles back. I don't want to risk it."

Irina shook her head. "I will not be thrown anywhere. He wouldn't even be able to do it! And you even said that it would cost to much-"

Music4evah nodded. "Yeah, it would be expensive. This whole fanmail thing is expensive! Maybe in the next couple chapters...Oh. Wait. That's not going to happen, not with _them_. Oh well. I'll just have to do a fund raiser or something. Ok, Em, get a jet wind tunnel in here."

"What?!" Irina shrieked. "You can't-You said-" The rest was in Russian. Which was a good thing, as it stopped Music4evah from changing the rating.

Emily came in. Music4evah handed her the remote, ignoring Irina's protests.

Em fiddled with it for a few moments before a hole appeared in one wall, and everything besides Irina and Alistair were anchored down to the floor, a chair, or the table.

Alistair and Irina each grabbed a chair to hang on to so that they weren't blown away.

Em pressed another button, and suddenly, instead of clinging on for dear life, Alistair fell to the floor.

The jet tunnel wasn't affecting him anymore!"

Alistair looked around. Irina's face was classic! Music4evah saw it too. She grabbed a camera, and took a picture of it. It would be good black mail.

Music4evah nodded to Alistair. Alistair took a deep breath, and grabbed Irina by the wrist. She couldn't fight back or she'd be carried into the jet tunnel by the wind.

Alistair grabbed her other wrist. Why did this have to be so awkward? Alistair took another breath, and threw Irina away and into the jet tunnel. As soon as she disappeared, the tunnel closed up, and the room was back to normal. Except for the fact that Irina wasn't there.

Alistair stumbled back to his seat. "Where did she go?"

Music4evah shrugged. "Em?"

Emily gave back the remote to Music4evah, and shrugged.

Music4evah turned back to Alistair. "All I know is that she'll end up back in the Studio Hospital for a while. So, we'll have to wait a while for her to get back. Want to laugh at the picture I took of her?"

Alistair stared at Music4evah. "Er...I suppose..."

Music4evah rolled her eyes. Old people...No offence, old people. Then she took out the picture. A few minutes of laughter and snide comments followed, and then Emily came back in leading Irina, who looked surprisingly normal, and more angry then she had ever been in her life.

Music4evah stopped laughing and put the picture away. Irina sat down with as much dignity as is possible when you have just been thrown into a jet tunnel, and Emily left again.

Music4evah smiled at Irina. "Shall we continue?"

Irina glared, but didn't say anything.

"Ok. I'll take that as a yes. This fanmail is from Pinta."

_Let me congratulate you on your rudeness, Irina *glares*. Oh and Alistair? Do you really think no one's going to ask you to do something embaressing? Because I WILL! (mwahahahaha... whatever..)_

_So, Irina, did you go to school, or did you just stay home and read spy books all day and that's why you're so crazy? And what's your favorite animal? Probably the snake, am I right?_

_And I have a request music4evah! Please have Alistair do the Hokey Pokey right now in front of everyone. Update quickly!_

Music4evah clapped her hands and laughed. "Haha! I can't wait to see that...but anyways...Irina, you have some questions to answer."

Alistair paled, and Irina smirked. "Of course I went to school. Music4evah, where does this Pinta live?"

Msuic4evah shrugged. "Beats me."

Irina's eyes narrowed, but she continued to answer her questions. "And I don't have a favorite animal."

Music4evah shrugged. "Ah well. Makes sense. You hate a lot of things, so you'd probably hate animals too. Now, Alistair..."

Alistair gulped. Where was that door that always appeared when Emily came and went? Oh no...

"Sorry, Al," Music4evah said. "Well, kind of not, I guess...but you have to do it. Irina had to be thrown into the jet tunnel, and that cost A LOT. You have to do the hokey pokey...And it doesn't cost me anything! How great is that? Wow, great suggestion, Pinta. Thanks!"

Irina raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. She wanted to see Alistair do the hokey pokey.

Alistair frowned. "I don't think-"

"Of course you think! You're an Ekat!" Music4evah interrupted. "Come on. Do it."

Alistair shuffled nervously. He thought of his options. They weren't pretty. So, he did the only thing he could do. He started doing the hokey pokey.

"You put you right hand in," Alistair mumbled. He put his right hand in.

"Louder," Music4evah called. She pulled out a video camera.

"You put your right hand out," Alistair said. He put his right hand out.

"Louder!" Music4evah called again. She pulled out some popcorn and shared with Irina.

"You put your right hand in! And you shake it all about!" Alistair shouted. He did what the lyrics of the song said. Oh, Pinta was going to pay for this. So was Music4evah.

"You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about," Alistair turned around in a circle, doing the 'hokey pokey'.

Music4evah and Irina laughed, griping there sides.

"That's what, it's all, about!" Alistair patted his knees, clapped his hands, and pointed behind himself with his thumbs.

Music4evah smiled at Alistair. "That wasn't so hard, was it? I'll send you the video later, and then you can laugh over how...or not," she said as Alistair glared at her and sat back down.

Irina and Music4evah wiped the tears from their eyes, and then continued with fanmail.

"This one is from The New Ace of Spies."

_Irina your cool! Spies are cool! I'll feel so bad that you lost Nikolai! Ah well, anyway..._

"Shut up," Irina growled.

"You even hate your own fan?" Music4evah asked in surprise.

Irina rolled her eyes. "Not about that...cool...thing...the other part."

_Which Kabra do you prefer? Natalie or Ian?_

"Ian," Irina said immediately. "He is far more mature than Natalie, and doesn't wear 18 pairs of shoes every day."

_And what do you think of Ian/Amy?_

"I don't care much on that matter."

"But you did in Morbid Curiosity!" Music4evah protested.

Irina stared at her.

"What?" Music4evah asked. "You did. And it's a really good story...oh all right! I'll stop!"

_Oh by the way, Music4Evah, I now LOVE the ship Jonah/Nellie!_

"WHAT ship?!" Music4evah shouted. "There isn't a ship between _those_ two! There never was, there isn't, and there never will be, so long as Nellie keeps her senses and doesn't go anywhere _near_ that jerk!"

Irina and Alistair stared a Music4evah again.

"What? I voice my thoughts when I am passionate about something. When I hate something, I hate it with a passion. When I love something, I love it with a passion. Case closed."

Irina rolled her eyes, (something she was doing a lot,) and Alistair shrugged.

"Ok. Next fanmail from...RoyalDanielle."

_Finally! An update! Okay, Irina was asking for this..._

_Irina, in Book 4 it says that you lost a child. Would you please, calmly, coolly, and NON-MURDEROUSLY, tell us about your child?_

_And Alistair dear, have you ever fallen in love?_

Irina's eye twitched. "No," she managed to say. "Why does everyone want to know about a _supposed_ child?"

Music4evah shrugged. "Well, this one person started this story were you were at the KGB place, and they were doing this experiment on you, but when they told you to...do something...I closed out of it. But I think they were going to make you have a child thru an operation, and they think that's Nikolai. I don't know where they found out that's his name, though...Probably from one of the cards," Music4evah shrugged.

Irina looked at her in a disgusted way.

"What? I never said I _liked_ it. I personally think that he was your little brother. Makes _much_ more sense that way, and it's not in the least bit disturbing."

Irina shook his head.

"Your turn, Alistair!" Music4evah said cheerfully.

Alistair wasn't looking to good. Obviously, this wasn't the best day of his life. "Of course I have. Who hasn't? Besides Irina. Stay away from me!" Alistair raised his arms around his head in protection, but before Irina could hurt him, Music4evah sighed, pulled out her remote, aimed it at Irina, and pressed a button. She jolted, and asked, "What was that? You just...Oh, so _you_ get a shocker on your remote, and I don't get my needles?! This is-" the rest was in Russian.

Music4evah rolled her eyes. "Believe me, I'll be using it a whole lot more for the next group..." Music4evah shook her head. They were going to be a handful. Hopefully she wouldn't have to bring back Butler...

"Ok! The next one is from veVeon."

_LOL i'm fine with the lateness. i understand. = sounds so formal O.o_

_Irina: Would you rather kill Music4evah or Alistair? With what weapon?_

_Alistair: If you had abilities to kill everyone with a look, who would you kill first? last?_

_muahahah!! dont worry-i'm not obsessed with death. ._._

Irina frowned. "What does = mean?"

Music4evah shrugged. "I don't know. Some people write the weirdest things...Notice how I used to correct all of the grammar and the spelling? I don't anymore. Let everyone look like a fool in front of everybody because they can't use their tiny brains to write something that is phonetically correct."

Alistair nodded. "I understand."

"Well, anyways, back to the questions...Oh. Maybe I shouldn't have said that."

Irina grinned. "Oh, I"m glad you did. I would _much_ rather kill Music4evah. And, oh, what weapon, there are so many that would do the job..."

"You know you can't really do that, right?" Music4evah asked nervously. "I could write something into this story that would stop you..."

Irina sighed. "I know. But it _is_ quite a nice little picture...Oh, I would probably use my needles, seeing as that was the first thing she took from me. Oh, if only..."

"Haha, that's enough!" Music4evah interrupted, attempting to act as if this was just a fun little game. Oh, if only...

"Alistair?"

"Hm...I would probably kill my Uncle first. Just for protection, mind you! And last, well...who says I would even want to kill anyone? That would be a very dangerous ability. And it would also be very impossible."

Music4evah nodded. "Yeah, we get that. It's just hypothetical. Ok, the next fanmail is from...ayiopop."

_HEY Music4evah love da fanfic!_

_1. alastair how do you feel having to track down dan and amy every book?_

_2. Irina YOU FAIL!... Dont come and kill me PLZ PLZ PLZ!IM GONNA MOVE TO ALASKA WHERE YOU CANT FIND ME! Do you have a soft side(and music4evah hook her up to a lie thingy)HEHEHE_

Alistair sighed. "Those two just don't trust me...it is rather saddening, but I don't blame them."

Irina stood up. "Alright, just give me my needles back, and-" the rest was in Russian.

Music4evah took deep breath, and yelled, "SHUT IT, IRINA!!!"

Irina did.

"Sit down."

Irina sat.

"Now calm down so that you can answer the question, and I'll go get the lie detector."

Irina gulped.

Then she was hooked up to the lie detector.

Music4evah urged her to speak with a motion of her hand.

So Irina did.

"I thought it would have been quite obvious from the fourth book," she said. "It's not like I'm going to tell _you_."

Music4evah sighed. "Just answer the question."

"I did."

"It's a yes or no question!"

"What if I don't want to answer it?"

"Of course you don't! But in my studio, sadly, we have to make people do lots of things against their will...so ANSWER IT!"

"Read the fourth book! That will give you your yes or no."

"Ugh, Irina, just say yes, or no."

"What if-"

"Just....answer...the question. Please."

"Well, when you put it that way...No."

No shock.

"Hm," Music4evah contemplated. "I was expecting it to be yes. But then again, at the end of the fourth book, you kind of lost your soft side. Plus, you seem to enjoy giving me a hard time."

Irina grinned evilly. "I do indeed. Now get me out of this."

Music4evah tried to get Irina out of the lie detector. She really did. But the latch keeping Irina in the lie detector was broken.

"I can't!" Music4evah said. "Sorry...Well, this should prove interesting. Anyways..."

Music4evah moved back to her seat. "The next fanmail is from Bluestocking Ink. Oh, give it up, Irina!"

_YAY! We have Irina! IDK why, but I think she's cool and mysterious, but I NEED TO KNOW WHO THIS KID IS!_

_So Irina, before you kill me, WHO IS THE FREAKY KID? IS S/HE ONE OF DAN AND AMY'S PARENTS? (Sorry, that's my theory, LIE DETECTOR, AND PLEASE STRAP HER TO THE CHAIR BEFORE SHE KILLS ME!)_

_I have no ther questions. HURRY!!_

"Well, how convenient is that? You're already in the lie detector, strapped down, and you can't kill anybody! Good thing looks can't kill, right Alistair? Haha....All right, I'll stop, Irina! Just answer the question."

Irina fumed for a moment, before she said, "When I get out of here, I will kill-"

"Nope, sorry! Question answers only."

"I already answered your-" the rest was in Russian.

"Ok...Let's just move on, shall we? Ok, here's one for you, Alistair, from ~Heartgold~."

_Yay Alistair is here! Ekats rule!_

_So Alistair, what is your favorite burrito flavour?_

"My favorite burrito flavor? Well, actually...I really do like the ones with olives and ham. Quite delicious." **(A/N: Totally just making that up!)**

"Alright. This one is from IceCreamGurl6455."

_Hey, Alistair, how hard is it to be kicked out of Harvard (CARD #34)? What kind of practical jokes did you have to play?_

_Thanks, and EKATS ROCK!_

Alistair looked very uncomfortable all of a sudden. He shifted in his seat. Irina smirked at him.

"What's this?" she asked. "Kicked out of _Harvard_? Who would have known that an _Ekat_ would be kicked out of _Harvard_."

"Be quiet," Alistair mumbled.

"Really, Irina, that wasn't necessary," Music4evah agreed.

"Oh yes it was," Irina said.

_SHOCK!_

Music4evah grinned. "Apparently, it wasn't!"

Irina glared at her.

"Alistair, sorry, but you have to answer the question," Music4evah pressed.

Alistair sighed. "Really, I don't see why it matters."

Music4evah shrugged. "It matters to IceCreamGurl6455."

"I just...was young. And...didn't understand my priorities. That's all I will say."

Music4evah sighed. "I guess there's no use trying...besides, I'll need everything I can get later on."

Irina was immediately trying to get out of the lie detector, and Alistair was searching the walls for an escape.

"Oh, come on, it's not that bad! Well, ok, it is, but it doesn't cost me anything! How bad can it be?"

Alistair and Irina stared at her.

"Ok. So it can be bad. But I'm saving it for last! Let's get on with this."

Alistair returned to his seat, and Irina slouched down in the lie detector.

"This one is from 13Mysterious12."

_Okay..._

_Alistair- How do you feel after ditching Amy and Dan, then gaining there trust again, then ditching them, then getting another alliance, then leaving them?_

_Irina: If you loved anything what would it of been? And why?_

_Tell Ian... I laugh at him for being kicked in the shin by Amy._

_Tell Amy... Way to go! =)_

Alistair frowned. "I do wish that Amy and Dan would trust me, but as I said before, it isn't easy. And I don't blame them."

Irina's eye twitched. "Do I have to answer that?"

Music4evah grinned. "Yes. Yes you do."

Irina rolled her eyes. "A human being. That is all I will say."

Music4evah sighed. "Once again, I'm not going to badger you to say more. Now, for the fun part... Let's send a few emails...Ian...13Mysterious12 laughs at you...for being kicked...in the shin...by Amy...haha...Music4evah. Send. Now, Amy...13Mysterious12...says way to go...for kicking Ian...you rock...Music4evah. Send. Now we wait for either a) shouts of anger or b) an email back from Amy saying thank you."

A came first.

It was quite loud. Mostly it was made of murderous threats to 13Mysterious12.

Then came B.

Then A was cut off very suddenly...Even Irina got some chills.

Music4evah smiled. "Shall we continue? Alright. The next fanmail is from Madeleine421."

_hi Music4evah! great fanfic! my question...okay..._

_Alistair: do you have some kind of ulterior motive or do you really like dan and amy?_

_and Irina...you're scary..._

Music4evah beamed. "Thank you! It's so nice to be appreciated..."

Alistair sighed. "I do like Amy and Dan. But really, an ulterior motive? No, I don't."

Irina grinned evilly. "Thank you. I try."

Music4evah leaned away from Irina a little bit. "Ok...Disturbing...But anyways, the next one is from EM98."

_hi_

_Irina: who is the child you keep refering [spelled that incorectly] to_

_Alistar: you rock learn magic_

Irina glared. "I'm not going to talk about it."

Alistair stared at the message. "That's it? Really, people these days..."

Music4evah shrugged. "Well, they're a fan. And it's the thought that counts."

Alistair rolled his eyes. Magic? Were did that come from? Well, he did know some pretty nifty card tricks...But no one ever appreciated them...

"Ok, second to last one, guys! Remember, best for last...Ok, not best..." Music4evah said, only to receive glares from Irina and Alistair. "It's form purplee cullencahill."

_YAY! an update!_

_for Alistair: what microwavable burrito flavor/s are you working on now?_

_For Irina:who do you really dislike at the moment?_

Alistair shrugged. "I've been focusing more on the clues. But ask me in a couple months. I have had a few ideas in the back of my mind..."

Irina smirked. "Music4evah. Obviously."

Music4evah braced herself. "Ok. Are you guys ready for the last one? And guys, after you read it, please don't scream. Don't kill each other. Don't kill me. Later, you might be able to kill whoever wrote it, though...Not that I want you to or anything. But, yeah. Don't kill me. I didn't write it."

"Just give us the message already!" Irina yelled.

"Ok, ok! It's from f29dfan!."

_hey guyyzz! music4evah, luv this story! irina, tell us about ur child! alastair, how did u get out of the cave without... u no.. dying..._

_irina, kiss alastair! this is a DARE!_

Irina screamed. And, broke the latch that kept her in the lie detector. "Let me kill her!" She shrieked. "Let me-" the rest was in Russian.

Alistair just stared at the screen. He couldn't believe his eyes.

Music4evah covered her ears. Finally Irina calmed down a bit, and just paced the room, every now and then cursing in Russian.

Music4evah lowered her hands from her ears. "Irina. Obviously we're not getting anything about your little brother out of you. Alistair, care to...ok...I don't think I'll get anything out of you either. So. About this kiss..."

Irina hissed. "No. I will not do it!"

"Sorry, Irina, but it's a dare. Well, that doesn't really count for much, but...just let me explain! Please. First. It didn't say how long the kiss was supposed to be. So it could be for a nanosecond for all I care...But you have to do it. I didn't make you talk to much about some other stuff, so...Hey, here's something. Either you tell us _everything_ about Nikolai, or you kiss Alistair. Really, either one would be fine with me, but it's up to the fans. And at this moment, we can't really ask what they want...They'll just be reading this...so..."

Irina stared at Music4evah. "You are trying to blackmail me?"

Music4evah shrugged. "I do have that picture of you right before you were thrown into that jet tunnel..."

Irina shook her head. "No. There is nothing for me in this. I-"

"Don't really have a choice. I still have Em here to help persuade you, if necessary, and I do have other methods at my disposal. And then, there's the fans. If you don't do what they want, (and this is kind of sad,) they might just very well write a story in which you _do_ do what they want. And I kind of just gave them that idea, too..."

Irina shook her head again. "I am not going to do this. You can try all you want."

"Look, just for a nanosecond! I'll even tell the fans that you two can _not_ become a ship. That's just disturbing...And you could possibly track down this f29dfan! person...possibly...How about, right after you do it, you can storm out of here, grab your needles, blah, blah, blah, do whatever you want, the fans are happy, you get somebody to kill, and...Is Alistair turning _blue_?"

Alistair shook his head. He tried to say something, but he was still in shock.

Irina shuddered. "I have to kiss that? Really, people these days..."

"Hey, be glad you weren't paired with Jonah," Music4evah pointed out.

Irina's eyes widened. "What?"

"Well, I decided who would answer fanmail with who at the beginning. But just get it over with!"

Irina shuddered. Then, she bent down towards Alistair, and pressed her lips to his for (if it's possible) less then a nanosecond.

"There. Now..." A door slid open as Music4evah pressed a button on her remote. Irina silently swept out, and grabbed her needles that were on a table right next to the door. Then she was gone.

Music4evah still sat in her seat, shocked. That had gone more smoothly then she had thought. Irina had almost been out of character... Irina was complex.

Alistair shook his head again. "Did she..." he croaked. "I didn't see...I was..."

Music4evah nodded. "She did. Can you believe it?"

Alistair shook his head. "She really..."

Music4evah nodded again. "If you need to go wash your lips then there's a bathroom right over there, go out the same door Irina did, down the hall second door to the left."

Alistair nodded, and did as Music4evah said.

- - -

**Sadly, I cannot tell you the story of how Irina tracked down f29dfan! (Don't ask how) and killed them. I don't want to change the rating. Sorry, f29dfan!, but Irina did not enjoy your dare. (It was tons of fun to write, tho! Don't tell Irina I said that.)**

**Hope you liked it! I was laughing the entire time I wrote this. :] Guess who's next? They will **_**really**_** be a handful...**

**:] Thanks for all of the reviews! You guys made this story what it is. Without all of your ideas, this would be pretty boring. THANKS!!!**

**Love, Music4evah**

**P.S. Oh, and Irina/Alistair...BAD IDEA!!! Don't even think about it. (*cough* The New Ace Of Spies *cough* haha, just kidding!)**


	9. Chapter 9

**(Note the sarcasm.) Yes, I own the 39 Clues, and that's why I'm writing this, instead of the real thing. Of course I don't! Sheesh, people...**

Chapter 9

Music4evah sighed. This was going to be a long chapter...And if this one wasn't, the next one would be.

Music4evah took a deep breath, put a smile on her face, and looked around at the five gigantic people sitting around her extra large table, each with a laptop in front of them. The biggest, Eisenhower Holt, was gazing in confusion at his computer, which really didn't surprise Music4evah.

Mary-Todd was smiling, watching her family, and feeling very proud that they were finally answering fanmail of their own. Unlike most of the 39 Clues characters, once they had found out about Music4evah's fanmail story, they had monitored all of her stories. They knew Music4evah's style, and they were prepared for anything.

Or so they thought.

Hamilton was missing Arnold, the Holt's pit bull. Music4evah hadn't let him into the studio. To many risks. He was also curious as to what would happen in this chapter. Who knew what Music4evah would do?

Madison was playing solitaire on her computer. She was trying to beat herself, but no matter what she did, she couldn't do it!

Reagan was watching Madison in amusement. She had told Madison that she had beat herself on solitaire. Which had been a lie, of course. But who cared? Now Madison was desperately trying to beat herself.

"There!" Madison cried in triumph. "What about that?"

Reagan pretended to ponder Madison's screen. Then she shook her head and grinned. "Nope! And, like, you know what else? You'll, like, never beat my record. It's, like, one minute."

This was another lie. But Reagan was willing to let slip a little non-fact if it meant that Madison was going to do _this._ Reagan stifled her laughter, and continued to watch Madison.

Music4evah sighed. "Okay, Holts! Let's start."

Reagan reluctantly nodded. No more freaking out Madison.

Madison reluctantly shrugged. No more solitaire.

Hamilton sat up. Don't worry about Arnold. He's fine.

Mary-Todd smiled. Time to shine!

Eisenhower sighed with relief. No more confusing technology!

"Ok, readers, it's obvious that, yes, the Holts are next on fanmail. Most of you guessed it and sent in your questions, even though I'm pretty sure I asked you _not _to...Anyways, those of you who sent in your questions, you need to send them again. I know, it's annoying for you, but for me, it keeps this organized, and it's a little bit of payback for you getting on my nerves."

"Aw, c'mon, Music4evah! There's better ways of pay back then _that!_" Eisenhower groaned.

Music4evah shrugged. "Hey, I'm trying to keep my mean side to a minimum! I save it for you guys."

Eisenhower glared. "Oh, and what are you going to do? You're only 13!"

Music4evah smiled an evil grin. "Ah, true, but you have to remember, I have the power of fanfiction on my side. And imagination is the key. Adults seem to lose this as they get older, but kids, even some teenagers, still have plenty of imagination. I could do plenty of things to the readers, but I'd rather do it to people I _really_ hate, such as Jonah Wizard, Ian Kabra, etc."

Hamilton nodded. "It makes sense, Dad."

Eisenhower grumbled something incomprehensible.

Music4evah ignored him. "Another announcement, readers. I've decided that I'm putting all my stories on hiatus, except for this one. Torn In Two only got one review, and I'm assuming that nobody else read it, so I'm waiting until later to concentrate on it and make it more popular. The 39 Clues Continued is my favorite story, and I rewrote chapter 9 and 11, incase you didn't get the message. Chapter 12 is almost done, but sadly, I have no ideas on it right now. I'm not quite sure what the Madrigals plan is at this moment, but you can tell me any ideas if you want!"

Madison scrunched up her eyebrows. "The Madrigals plan? I thought you knew it! The way you wrote it sounded like you did."

Music4evah raised her eyebrows in surprise. "You've read it?"

Madison nodded. "Yeah! We all have–"

"Shut it, Madison!" Eisenhower hissed.

Madison stopped talking.

Muisc4evah furrowed her brow in confusion. "Ok...Well...I never really had that much in mind for the Madrigals plan. I just knew that I needed it to be big and bad, you know? So it's on hiatus for now until I come up with something.

"Also, I have 3 story ideas that I wrote down in my profile. I've got some of them part ways finished, but I won't finish those until I've finished this story, and maybe The 39 Clues Continued. Unless I still don't have any ideas."

Reagan sighed. "Are you done, Music4evah?! This just seems like a way to tell your fans about stuff. You're, like, not letting us do anything!"

Music4evah blinked. "I'm not _stopping_ you from doing anything."

Reagan was about to retort, but then she realized that there wasn't a good come back for that.

Music4evah shook her head. "Anyways, I have one last matter. I'm considering bringing Abby into the next chapter to answer fanmail, too. I kind of thought, well since Hamilton...you know...But I'm not sure if you really want me too...Because I'm not sure if Hamilton really likes Abby...It's just what I wrote in my story. And she's just a character I made up, not a real character, so I figured that you might not want me too. I don't want it to be awkward or anything..."

The Holts stared at Music4evah.

Music4evah shrugged. "What? The New Ace of Spies told me she wanted more Hamilton/Abby. And it turned out really cute...Well, before I get the readers input, I should have yours. What do you think?"

Madison snorted. "Like I care at all. She's not part of the real story, just one you made up."

Reagan nodded. "Like, ditto."

Hamilton shrugged, his face turning red. "Well...I don't know. From what I read...Well, it was weird to read about myself that way. I mean, Abby seems ok, but I don't know."

Mary-Todd smiled. "Do whatever you want, dear."

Eisenhower sighed. "Look, this is our turn! We've waited for a while to do this. We don't want someone else messing it up!"

Music4evah nodded. "Ok. I'll take votes. You guys get to vote on whether Abby comes, or not. So do the readers. That will decide it. Also, don't forget to send in your questions! Especially if you already did. Review!"

- - -

"**Ok, who wants Abby to come?" Music4evah counted the hands that were raised. 2.**

"**Who doesn't want Abby to come?" Once again, 2.**

**Music4evah sighed. "Who can't make up their mind?" And, just as Music4evah had expected, 1.**

"**Ok, 2 for her coming, 2 for her not...and we won't count that one vote just yet. Readers, please don't say, 'I can't make up my mind! Whah!! I don't know!!!' And please don't say, 'I don't care.'**

"**Ok, Holts...Time to wait for the fanmail to come."**

"**Yay! More solitaire!"**


	10. Chapter 10

"Yes, Em, I'm sure," Music4evah groaned.

"Really? Everyone is going to hate you."

"I know. And I. Don't. Care. They already hate me. If they didn't, they wouldn't write such abominable things."

"They're probably rather confused at the moment, Muse. They have no idea what we're talking about."

Muse sighed and sat up a little straighter. She had previously been sitting at her desk in her studio, slumped in her seat, talking to Em, who sat across from her. Muse ran a tired hand through her messy hair, due to sleepless nights and excessive banging of her head on her desk. At least the head ache had receded when Em gave her some pain killers.

"Listen up, everybody," she addressed those reading her story. "You're in for a bit of a shocker."

Em nodded. "Yup. Although Butler was rather grateful when it turned out we wouldn't be needing him after all. Or Holly."

"Alright then. Here it is." Muse took a deep breath. "I'm not continuing this story."

And gasps and curses and questions and moans and groans and other such things were heard from the readers. Muse and Em plugged their ears until it stopped, which was a long time. 17 minutes, to be exact.

"These readers can be such a hassle," Muse groaned. "Really, I just want them to leave me in peace..."

"Maybe you should tell them _why_ you're stopping this story?" Em suggested.

Muse nodded. "Right. Well. I know you all love this story, which is beyond my comprehension. But I hate it. With a fiery passion. This is the most death- I mean _fan-_ mail that anyone of the 39 Clues characters have gotten. The Holts were pretty ecstatic about that, but when I told them that most of it was about if Hamilton like Amy, if Reagan/Madison liked Dan, and that the rest was basically a list of insults in the form of questions and embarrassing dares, they weren't too excited. They agreed that they didn't feel up to answering it. Well, I made them agree. If they really wanted to, I still wouldn't let them. They're _fictional characters._ They can't hurt me. I honestly don't feel threatened by them in the least bit."

Em snickered. There had been a few reviewers who had threatened Muse with such things. Neither she nor Muse really meant offense to those who used them, but...Well, yeah, on the other hand, they sort of did.

"Anyways," Muse continued. "I know you'll all beg me to continue this, and I'm being sort of hypocritical, seeing as someone just stopped a truly amazing and hilarious story. 'This Means War', a PJO fic by Riptide Anaklusmos. Go yell at her and tell her that her stories are genius. But anyways. I know you'll all be very angry with me for dropping this story. But you have no idea how much I hate and despise this! So sad, too bad, not really..." Muse trailed off. "Well, anyways. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows. Now, Em, let's go get some ice cream and celebrate the death of this horrible story!"

Em agreed, and together, the left the mostly empty studio, glad that they never had to deal with the death- Ahem, _fan- _mail ever again. At least, for the moment, until those hateful reviews started trickling in...


End file.
